On August 13th, 2012 I took the first step to changing my entire life. Did I know it at the time? Absolutely not.
I started because I wanted to look fit.
I followed Kris Gethin’s 12-week Hardcore Trainer with my manager/ my “coach”/ my very well respected friend-Keith Rewis. He guided my nutrition and pushed my training. Not only did he hold me accountable for staying on the plan but I created a blog in which I posted on social media sides often. Knowing that my family and friends were watching my progress made it that more important to not give up. You can find that blog here.
Everyday I learned something new and it all brought me closer to my goal. I kept records of everything. From body measurements to reps, sets, weights to protein, carbs, fats….everything. There was a science behind it all. This style diet is one that many bodybuilders and fitness models use to achieve that chiseled look.
During those 12 weeks some amazing and wonderful things happened:
- I dropped a total of 13 pounds and 15 inches which a major decrease in bodyfat percentage(not sure on exactamount due to marginal error)
- I put time into a positive lifestyle (ie: not drinking, partying) and therefore have a much better outlook on life
- I was forced to reflect on myself and my actions constantly
But as always, there are some bad things that come along its the good:
- I dropped BF too quickly and developed amenorrhea -in which I am still not fully recovered. The reason I dropped so quickly is because I eliminated ALL fats except those in lean meats. This may be okay for males but females NEED healthy fats to maintain that baby maker. Unfortunately, I learned this the hard way. In addition to amenorrhea I developed horrible acne on my chin(the hormonal sweet spot) due to the lack of fat intake. Since learning about this I upped my fats and boom, no more acne 🙂 More on that topic here
- I didn’t have time for my “friends” : This diet restricted alcohol for obvious reasons. In addition to that, my friends were all 21+ and all they wanted to do was go out to the bars and drink. Not only was I following this plan but I wasstill 20 and unable to get in. It didn’t take long for us to go our separate ways. However, if they were truly my friends, we old have found a way to make it work.
- I became selfish and only focused on myself: I did everything for me because I wanted to better myself. This made me quite oblivious to what was going on around me. On the night before my final weigh in(Nov 5th) I found out my boyfriend of two years had been cheating on me. I classify this as a bad thing because obviously it sucks to feel unwanted. BUT it could not have happened at a better time. I was so confident and so proud of myself for my accomplishments that his stupid actions could not rain on my parade. Had this happened months prior I probably would have eaten tubs of ice cream and actually gained 13 pounds but that wasn’t the case here. Actually, it sparked another fire to continue the effort and continue pushing so one day he would realize how ultimately stupid he was to cheat on someone like me. Not being cocky here, just confident.
I continued because I liked who I was becoming.
So even though the plan ended in November, I pushed through with the goal to increase muscle mass. I attended my first bodybuilding competition to see what it was all about. I remember driving home from the vicinity thinking “this is it, this is what I’m meant to do.” I “found my calling” as some might say. Since then I’ve been dreaming about figure competition and fitness modeling.
Around May of 2013 I realized there was just one thing that may seem like a healthy habit but could EASILY turn into an ultimate massacre. I was obsessed with counting my macronutrients. I would stay up at night counting everything I ate and when I should eat the next day. I was measuring everything so precisely… Down to 1/4 Tbsps… WTF!! If that doesn’t scream eating disorder I don’t know what does. I had to stop. There was a demon in me that I needed to get out and I am so lucky to have realized this before it got out of hand. I couldn’t just go back to my “regular” days of eating though, I knew too much. I found Kiefer’s Carbbackloading which you can read about here. It seems like total bullshit and bogus babble but again, the science is there and it works. I used this method for summer time because it allowed me to live and enjoy my time with family and friends.. Not my food. It also taught me how to listen to my body not just nutrition articles.
At the same time I realized my training was regular but I was mostly just going through the motions. I needed an extra push so I attended another bodybuilding competition to remind me of my goals. That night I also found myself a certified personal trainer –Brandon Sands. Through him, I learned so much more about the science and dynamic of exercise. I feel pretty confident in my knowledge of nutrition but lacked knowledge of muscle tissues. Not only has he sparked major muscle growth but he explains the reasoning behind everything and what it does to my body.
My weight on the scale has stayed about the same but the size and shape of my muscles have really begun to develop. I’ve been at a healthy maintenance level for a few months now. I feel that my body needed this time to take a break and for my mind to figure out where I’m going its all of this. The conclusion: I’m ready to dig a little deeper. A year ago I took the first step to get healthy, now I’m ready to take the first step to compete.
I will continue to achieve my goals.
I eat, sleep and breathe fitness. Its all I think about. You can call it my drug, my religion, my obsession but it truly is my passion. If I’m not at work, you can find me busting my ass in the gym, cooking clean meals in my kitchen, researching nutrition articles, and finally sleeping aka restoring my muscles for my next brutal attack. Ask me what I like to do for fun? I like to go food shopping, run on the beach, and read anything health and fitness related.
I still have much to learn and much to develop but I promise you I will be on stage in 2014. It’s not just a goal, it’s a promise.
The biggest thing I’ve learned over the past year is something that I will continue to use in all aspects of life. I’ve learned that I can’t surround myself with people who don’t understand or respect my goals. I must only surround myself with positivity. The truth is I keep to myself, I’m independent and I am completely happy. I don’t like to go out to drink or indulge in dirty foods mainly because it does not make me feel good. I feel best when I know I’m doing good for my body. I have come to realization that I am the most dedicated person I know and I am more than satisfied being “alone” and doing me. People think being alone makes you lonely but I think being surrounded by the wrong people is the loneliness thing in the world.
Special thanks to a few people….
Keith: thank you for literally turning my life in a new direction. I know too much now that I could never go back to my old ways. You’ve put up with my shit(and I’ve put up with yours) But it means a lot that you helped me get started.
James: thank you for not believing in my dreams, thank you for being selfish and introverted, you taught me that my well-being should and will always come before anyone else.
Brandon: thank you for taking time out of your insanely busy schedule and pushing me until I have tears in my eyes -yes, i admit, those are tears -not just sweat. I listen to every word you say(except when you mumble lol) not just because you intimidate me but because you knowledge is superior.
Mom: Your support means the world to me, Love you.